Gambling on Gods goodness

When I was in College I had a friend, lets call him Tom who was what people in our inner circle called a smart gambler. Horses was his game although other sports didn't deter him from the occasional flutter. He would calculate odds and spend months on end studying the form of a particular horse before ever placing a bet. Of course when he eventually did it was a particularly sizeable bet. At least to us College students it was and at times he could have up to 500 or 600 euros riding on one race! While most of us saw this as a ridiculous risk to take, to him it was smart and calculated. Most of us would have lost that amount of money on multiple bets in the length of time it took him to finish studying one horse. He saw our approach as a ridiculous risk to take. Tom became quite popular in college for his dedication and commitment to betting and it was Tom that people approached when looking for racing tips. It turns out his approach was seen as the lesser risk and people valued and respected his opinions for it.

I found myself caught up in this world of gambling in college. I was captivated by Tom and would spend hours sitting and learning from him in a bookies often at the expense of my structural design lectures or my early morning class on land surveying. I wasn't really that interested in horses or in making money through gambling so what was it that drew me? The lure of money was never a strong motivator for me. So what was it then? Honestly I believe it was a number of things. I loved to win. I loved the excitement of gambling. I loved the highs and the lows. Perhaps though on a deeper level, I loved the sense of accomplishment I got from choosing a winner. I loved the attention and congratulations I received after picking a winner. In those times I felt smart like I had tapped into a cleverness that gave me an edge over other gamblers. I loved the time spent with friends checking the form books, planning our race cards and deliberating over and accumulating odds together. I felt like I was part of something. We were the underdog band of brothers taking on the greedy bookmakers and eventually going to take that one elusive windfall.

Yet looking back now we lost a lot of money and our decisions were not always clever. I recently went back to a card room to play a poker tournament. In those earlier college years I spent many nights grinding at the tables but it had been years since I darkened the door of a casino. Two friends asked me to go with them and I thought to myself it might be fun. For one night only, Ill relive the glory days. I didn't play with as much money as I would have back in my former years of betting but I didn't find the glory days either. There was still an excitement within me chasing the win but the people in that room seemed desperate and hopeless, searching for something that could not be found in that perfect roulette spin or in flopping aces over kings. It was a far cry from what I remembered in my college days and yet it probably wasn't that different.

Today I was sitting in my living room watching the sun rise while spending time with God and reading my bible. I have found myself stressed and anxious over how I will find money to support myself this year as I no longer have a job. Interestingly it was in this moment that I felt God remind me of my gambling days. I began to ask deeper questions of myself. Questions like why do I enjoy gambling? What is it that pulls me in? I already mentioned that it's never been about the money.

I want to be careful not to offend people as I do realise so many people and families have been ripped apart and lost everything through gambling addiction but I felt God speak to those questions by saying he placed that gamblers spirit in me. What?? Surely not! That can't be the voice of God!

Well wait, let me tell you the statement I heard and then attempt to qualify it. As I sat there worrying about whether the money would come in for my school year and if I would be able to pursue everything that was in my heart to do, I heard a voice in my spirit say, Paul I want you to gamble on my goodness. Gamble on your goodness? What does that actually mean? I began to question how I see my heavenly Father. Do I actually believe that he's a good Dad? As I turned the pages of my bible he started to speak to me again. Will I not provide for you as I did for Abraham? For Moses? For Joshua? For countless others?

The definition of the word 'Gamble' is 'a risky action undertaken with the hope of success'. As I meditated on this I reminded myself that the Christian life is not for the faint hearted. Somehow we have allowed the world to influence the church by celebrating safety, security and stability and yet Christ calls us out of our comfort bubbles to embrace risk and the unknown. The dictionary definition places the risk in a hope of success. This hope is of course a faint hope of things getting better in the future. This is where the conventional gambler differs from the Christian life. We don't place our hope on a future success but on a past one. Christ risked everything to come for fallen man. What a gamble! The stakes are always high with Jesus. He said that whoever clings on to their life will lose it but whoever gives up their life for him will find their life. (Matt 10:39). To the rich young ruler he said to gain treasure in heaven he needed to sell everything (Luke 18:22). It's all are nothing with Jesus. It's high stakes and guess what? We are wired to seek after and go all in on these high stakes. It's time to be courageous and I'm not talking about the courage of my friend Tom who bet 600 euros on a horse but to have courage far greater. Lay down our lives as Jesus did and step into the unknown for the sake of the gospel. 2000 years ago Christ won the victory and we benefit from that windfall for all eternity.

One of my favourite movies Rounders sees young Mike Mcdermott played by Matt Damonn chase a dream to make it rich through playing poker. To him it's about learning a craft. Poker is a skill game and not really about luck. Of course in taking this view there often can follow crushing defeats and it can never truly be a sure bet. However gambling on Gods goodness is always a sure bet. The movie finishes with a great quote as Mike takes a taxi to Vegas to play the world series and it made me realise that there is not much difference between both his attitude and mine. My questions as to whether I will have enough money to survive the year and in stepping into the unknown I am taking a similar gamble to Mike McDermott. He is chasing a million dollars and betting on the strength of his cards and I am chasing real life experiences with God and choosing to bet on his goodness. Mike says.... 'first prize at the world series is a million dollars. Does it have my name on it? I don't know but I'm going to find out.

I might not know exactly how I plan on paying my rent or my missions expenses but I know God is a good Father and my provider. I don't have it all worked out but I'm going to take the gamble. Like Mike McDermott, I'm going to go and find out.